The Upside of Cancer
In the process of round two with cancer, I’m especially grateful to have time, however much or little that may be, to write, to enjoy, to spend with my family. What my grandchildren may or may not remember about me will depend on many things…in part, this book, if I use my time well while I can. Cancer might just be the universe’s way of reminding me to hurry the hell up, after all, and a blessing, since I might have let my time run out on publishing without this warning.
The ancient Taoists tell a story about a man who lost his horse. When his neighbor came to commiserate, saying it was too bad that the horse had run away, the farmer replied, “Maybe yes; maybe no.” The next day, the horse came back, and with another horse in tow. Again, the neighbor came, this time to congratulate the farmer. “Good for you!” he said, to which the farmer replied, “Maybe yes; maybe no.” Soon thereafter the farmer’s son, who was trying to tame the new horse, fell off and broke his leg. Again the neighbor came to commiserate, “Too bad,” he said. And again the farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.” And sure enough, it was not long before the army came looking for soldiers, and as it turned out, did not take his son. Were it not for the boy’s broken his leg, he might have been sent to the front to fight and maybe even to die. Instead, thanks to the seeming misfortune of a runaway horse, the boy lived to marry the neighbor’s daughter, and many grandchildren were born to the two old friends.
We can never really tell when seeming misfortune might turn out to actually be good for us. Goodness knows, I see and count my blessing since cancer more than ever.
“Even when sick,”the I Ching says, “one should persist in the principle of keeping delight alive.”(p. 162) “One should always think positively, persevere, looking forward to the good.”(p. 133) “Life and death are natural phenomena, just like sunrise and sunset.”(pp. 259-260) Even in “the glow of the setting sun – like the end of one’s career or life. The sun is still shining and humility still has resonance.”(p.155) “With the quality of humility, one is able to deal with any kind of situation; no matter how difficult or dangerous.”(pp. 153-154) “This is the true spirit of humility…acting positively by moving forward to do something productive.”(pp. 153-154) Only then can one meet “dying without any regret.”(123) “The remedy should be hard work. In this way, the end will be good.”(p.175)
As Buddha would remind us,there is suffering in every life, and as bad as it might seem, it could always be worse, or made better. Our fortunes may be karma, or they may come of causes out of our hands, but how we react is our choice. Whether our suffering does us harm or good - that often depends on us, on whether we learn from it and make something good come of it, or not. It may seem strange, but our burdens can turn out to be blessings. And we must be careful not to mistake our blessings as burdens.
So I spend a lot of time these days just being grateful. It is the first among our Original Instructions, as Indigenous Peoples remind us - “to be grateful…and enjoy life,”(Ausubel, in Nelson, 2007) even and especially when there may be little left.
In the process of round two with cancer, I’m especially grateful to have time, however much or little that may be, to write, to enjoy, to spend with my family. What my grandchildren may or may not remember about me will depend on many things…in part, this book, if I use my time well while I can. Cancer might just be the universe’s way of reminding me to hurry the hell up, after all, and a blessing, since I might have let my time run out on publishing without this warning.
The ancient Taoists tell a story about a man who lost his horse. When his neighbor came to commiserate, saying it was too bad that the horse had run away, the farmer replied, “Maybe yes; maybe no.” The next day, the horse came back, and with another horse in tow. Again, the neighbor came, this time to congratulate the farmer. “Good for you!” he said, to which the farmer replied, “Maybe yes; maybe no.” Soon thereafter the farmer’s son, who was trying to tame the new horse, fell off and broke his leg. Again the neighbor came to commiserate, “Too bad,” he said. And again the farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.” And sure enough, it was not long before the army came looking for soldiers, and as it turned out, did not take his son. Were it not for the boy’s broken his leg, he might have been sent to the front to fight and maybe even to die. Instead, thanks to the seeming misfortune of a runaway horse, the boy lived to marry the neighbor’s daughter, and many grandchildren were born to the two old friends.
We can never really tell when seeming misfortune might turn out to actually be good for us. Goodness knows, I see and count my blessing since cancer more than ever.
“Even when sick,”the I Ching says, “one should persist in the principle of keeping delight alive.”(p. 162) “One should always think positively, persevere, looking forward to the good.”(p. 133) “Life and death are natural phenomena, just like sunrise and sunset.”(pp. 259-260) Even in “the glow of the setting sun – like the end of one’s career or life. The sun is still shining and humility still has resonance.”(p.155) “With the quality of humility, one is able to deal with any kind of situation; no matter how difficult or dangerous.”(pp. 153-154) “This is the true spirit of humility…acting positively by moving forward to do something productive.”(pp. 153-154) Only then can one meet “dying without any regret.”(123) “The remedy should be hard work. In this way, the end will be good.”(p.175)
As Buddha would remind us,there is suffering in every life, and as bad as it might seem, it could always be worse, or made better. Our fortunes may be karma, or they may come of causes out of our hands, but how we react is our choice. Whether our suffering does us harm or good - that often depends on us, on whether we learn from it and make something good come of it, or not. It may seem strange, but our burdens can turn out to be blessings. And we must be careful not to mistake our blessings as burdens.
So I spend a lot of time these days just being grateful. It is the first among our Original Instructions, as Indigenous Peoples remind us - “to be grateful…and enjoy life,”(Ausubel, in Nelson, 2007) even and especially when there may be little left.